Saturday, 4 April 2015


Let me tell you a bit about myself. Im 23 years old and size up to 5ft 2 inches. I stopped growing when I was in year 9 in high school. I know this because I still have a pair of joggers I bought from Primark at this age; only missing one diamante, winning!!
I would probably class myself as having a petite frame. I have danced throughout my life, I had managed to stay flat tummy'd and toned legged from constant training. When I was in uni studying dance I wavered between 7st - 7st 6lb. There was a period of time that I dipped below this. My BMI indicated that I was underweight, but really it was never an issue for me. I ate what I wanted because I knew I would be burning it off straight away. Yes I had a toned figure, abs and all; but that is what you get from living on tinned soup, hot cross buns and cheesie puffs. Needless to say, I was fit but probably not healthy.

After university my heart and spirit was a little smooshed by not receiving the grades or the experience I had wished for, in a subject that I truly loved. I just stopped dancing. People used to ask why I had stopped and I would always brush the question aside, mainly due to the fact that I did not know the true reason myself. I stopped dancing for 2 years. I actually felt like I went through a little grieving process.
Despite not dancing I still walked everywhere. More down to the fact that I couldn't drive then for fitness levels.

Some brilliant things happened to me last year; I got a new job doing something I love and I funded my driving lessons, passed my test and bought myself a car. My luck had gone up but my fitness plummeted way down and I welcomed in a little bit of what they call cellulite into my life.  

For the first time potentially since I started puberty I am growing and I find myself going up a dress size. A size 6 to a solid 8. This may sound ridiculous to some people but for someone who has never seen weight gain in her life, it is something I am taking notice of. I have also learnt that sizing means nothing! The way high street shops size their clothes is so backwards, as a size 6 in one place could be a size 10 in another. I have learnt not to be concerned by what size my clothes are but by whether it fits, looks nice and I feel confident in it.
What I do need to stress is that, I don't care. I really don't care. The reality is that I bloody love food. Cake, cheese and carbs being my main three C's
I feel like a woman, mainly due to these things they call 'breasts' I have managed to grow on my chest.

Contrary to belief  (and my growing waistline) I do know what I should do to lead a healthy lifestyle. I know that the 7 after dinner mints and 2 glasses of wine I've had tonight is bad (but it feels so good) that is why I do not do it everyday. I know that I can get my trainers and leggings on and go for a run, but it's raining, cold, wet and dark. Do I need any more reasons?

Since working in a school and talking to young girls I am stunned by their body consciousness. For girls to talk about dieting at such a young ages makes me despair. They are still so young with such a tainted view of what women should look like.

I should mention that I have started dancing again. I have done it because of my love of dance, not to loose weight. Mainly because I just don't need to. I think what is healthy is knowing your body. Knowing what feels right and most importantly what makes you feel confidant.
 I understand that what I am saying is not ground braking stuff but sometimes it is hard to realise what matters most when the media is ramming ideas of the perfect body down our throats and Instragram is saturated with gym selfies. We know that chocolate is bad and we know that exercise is good. What we should also know,which is potentially most important, is what makes us happy. When can we look in the mirror and say 'Yep, this is me and I'm happy with it'.

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